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Why did real history not have blobbing like Crusader Kings does?
For those unaware, "blobbing" is the tendency for smaller independent rulers to get absorbed by larger ones, to the point where it's possible for the map can consist only of several large realms of roughly equal size. This is in contrast to history where there were relatively fewer large realms and they eventually broke apart.
I'm curious about why this didn't happen in history, and what Crusader Kings does or doesn't do to reflect that reality.
Crusader Kings 3 Patch 1.1 Notes: What They Actually Mean
- Just because your dad is an asshole and called you a failure and cast you out of the family doesn't mean no one anywhere in the world will ever let you inherit anything. I mean, he was probably right about you but if you get on a boat to India they probably won't know or care yet.
- If you spend hundreds of ducats of your own money building a fabulous new church, God's not gonna just be like "sure fine whatever I guess"
- Lower-rank clan rulers won't get penalties for failing to have an entire harem anime going on.
- If you are below the waifu quota for your rank, though, God is gonna be twice as mad about it. He tunes in to this show to ship you with various hotties and nothing on heaven or earth will save you if you fail to deliver.
- Partition was all kinds of fucked up and would often explode from even momentary contact with certain other game mechanics. We're sorry. We're working on it.
- Courtiers who you had an illicit love child with are less likely to dump the baby in your lap and disappear forever and not even pay child support.
- Refusing a call to arms now does something, up from basically nothing.
- It's now much harder to make literally everyone in the world love you just because you read a lot of books on rhetoric. Sorry political youtubers.
- Characters should now experience a gradual decrease in fertility instead of knocking up all three concubines with quadruplets one day and suddenly having their balls turn to dust and blow away in the wind the next.
- Greedy characters will no longer gain stress from giving away a city or temple, because as we all know, administering anything that isn't a castle gives poor feudal lords the hurty brain and it's just not practical to expect them to do it.
- Heresies should no longer replace like 90% of all Catholic counties by two weeks in to every 867 game.
- Inheritance succession can now go up to 6 generations upwards to find a distant relative rather than just 3 in case, say, you ended up getting the first 20 people in line for the throne killed because you keep forgetting to go click Forbid on the Knights screen.
- It's now much harder to murder someone you're at war with and practically impossible to abduct them because they've seen the exploit videos, too, and they're not falling for that bullshit again.
- Knights who are constantly swinging swords around and not getting killed will probably get better at it over time.
- The Emperor of the HRE or any similarly impressive realm is probably not going to immediately prostrate himself and accept your weirdo naked incest religion even if you declared a holy war and are somewhat stronger than him.
- You can no longer ask the Pope for money while at war with the Papacy. Just sack Rome and take it. Asking is for schmucks.
- Tribal leaders who have massive armies that get paid in exposure will no longer have a harder time becoming famous for some reason.
- That dumbass Radulf is now somewhat less likely to somehow get himself maimed multiple times in battles where you had a 3-to-1 numbers advantage.
- Being in debt now does something, up from basically nothing.
- Lustful characters will no longer lose stress every time they fail at No Nut November.
- The Mongols are legit scary now and they heard you've been talkin' shit.
- Weak realms are now much more likely to agree to subjugation by the Mongol Empire, unless you're the Shah of Khwarazm and have a nail in your brain or something.
- Telling your failson to go shave his head and live in a dark building he's not allowed out of where he can only eat bread and sing hymns no longer gives you piety, because never having to see him again is its own reward.
- That mission in KCD was pretty cool though, huh?
- The AI is now reluctant to betroth boys to old women, even ones that have been described as total QILFs.
- AI rulers should no longer recruit claimants to their court who are like, fifth in line for some desert village they've never heard of clear over on a different continent.
- AI rulers who are bankrupt and facing rebellion should no longer froth at the mouth and scream from the parapets that they refuse to so much as discuss a white peace until you hit 350% warscore.
- We've introduced a cap to living dynasty member Renown gain so you can't just rush all the perks by having 5000 stupid, ugly babies.
- The Inbred trait is now less likely to be passed on as long as you don't take an already Inbred character and continue to inbreed them. We know you're gonna do it anyway, of course. You're all gross.
- Successful Crusaders should no longer fold to a faction demand and convert to Islam 100% of the time.
- Clan vassals who aren't allowed to bang at least one of your kids are going to be way more angry now, especially if they're powerful.
- Partition succession should now look mostly at splitting up the total number of base level counties evenly, rather than saying Louis gets less land because he gets to keep the fancier hat, leaving him with like a third of the levies of each of his brothers to defend a realm that is now on the express train to disaster.
- Björn Ironside has sat down with all of his vassals and explained to them that he probably can't protect them if they go conquer like, fucking Cyprus or something and they should prioritize grabbing counties that are at least within a few months' sailing distance of Scandinavia.
- Said vassals should also concentrate on conquering counties in a single, contiguous geographic region now, instead of trying to, I don't fucking know, have at least one outpost in every de jure kingdom on the map? What exactly was your logic, there? It's not like you're grabbing centers of trade. This isn't EU4. Calm down and finish your Wales before you start trying to dominate North Africa.
- When you win a Crusade, some of the Crusaders who came with you should stay around and help you man the fortifications instead of being like "gg c ya"
- Wandering characters with absurd amounts of gold will now tend to spend it all on
improving themselvesbooze and hookers so you can't invite them to dinner and then accuse them of witchcraft and seize all of their wealth.
- AI spouses are finally getting over their netorare phase. Like, we get it but jeez. Find a new tag to follow.
- The Alans in 867 have no longer somehow completely forgotten how to do horse archery.
- The Pope will no longer let Catholics form the Empire of Germania. You'll have to create the HRE instead, unless you wanted to maybe Protest his authority.
- Dynasty of Many Crowns now rewards you with something more than a shitty intramural soccer trophy that probably cost like $12
- Peasant leaders may now pay their rabble in exposure.
- You can no longer get the living legend achievement by simply starting a game as Haesteinn. It was simply OP to allow him to be as cool as we all know he was.
- Characters whose religion involves reincarnation are less likely to reincarnate from a really shitty ancestor.
- Alexandria is no longer a holy site for an East African religion practiced mainly by people who have never heard of Alexandria.
- The AI will no longer go nuts writing long facebook posts about how all of your children are illegitimate that your dumbass vassals will read and believe in.
- German vassals with Stammesherzogtum unlocked should now realize they can wield more power squeezing the desiccated corpse of the empire than they could claiming independence from it.
- The Restore the HRE decision requirements are now Kinda Reasonable, down from Fucking Ludicrous.
- You will now get ticking warscore against independence factions for holding any land in any of the rebel territories, not just the capital of the asshole who started it.
- Brutally killed North Korea Mode. You're bad for using it and you should feel bad.
- The AI should no longer decide in the middle of a war that a boat trip would be fun when the wargoal is like a kilometer away by land.
- Vassals of a cowardly liege will no longer pretend to be cowardly when he's in the room to make him feel better.
- Allied AI ultra-doomstacks should no longer roll up like "hey wyd" and try to have a chat with you while you're doing a siege if it would cause both armies to lose thousands of hapless souls to disease and starvation.
- Varangians have been reminded that they're river vikings and they should stop trying to appropriate ocean viking culture.
- The AI should no longer nope out with their 4000 troops, leaving your 3000 to fight a 5000 stack and get half your court killed when it would have been an easy win if they could have pulled their pants up and stayed still.
- AI characters are less likely to join a claimant faction for a one-eyed, one-legged 90-year-old with leprosy and brain cancer.
- AI understands that "matrilineal" marriage doesn't actually mean anything if you're keeping it in the family like a proper Crusader Kings player.
- Your freaking worthless father-in-law should no longer call you into three consecutive offensive wars for one shitty tribal county when you're trying to desperately defend against a full-scale invasion of bloodthirsty foreigners.
- AI characters who aren't of the same religion as a holy order will no longer be chill just letting the Templars hang out in one of their cities sharpening their swords and singing songs about how all heathens must die.
- Lower-tier Norse rulers will be less likely to decide it sounds fun to sail all the way to Sri Lanka or something to raid when there is plenty of pillage to be had nearby.
- Allied AI armies now have object permanence and understand that just because we can't see the enemy right now doesn't mean you can safely fuck off across the kingdom to siege some worthless barony and leave the player's army alone to get rekt the next time the bad guys show up.
- The AI has been reminded that this game doesn't have naval combat so you don't have to row full-speed away from an approaching enemy fleet. Poseidon will rise from the seas and make sure no one is allowed to hurt each other's boats or anyone on them.
- A whole bunch of other AI changes that could be at least partly solved by adding an "allow attachment" button to player armies.
- AI will no longer treat enemy armies marching through neutral territory as "out of bounds" and therefore completely unable to be attacked.
- AI will no longer park its second army right next to a relatively even battle in progress and kick back like, "I think you guys got this handled."
- The little suggestions widget thingy will now let you know when a vassal is mad because you're not his rightful liege, and his rightful liege is mad because you're giving immediacy to his vassal, and it would have been really nice if someone had brought this to my attention before you both went and joined the independence faction because it's extremely easy to fix.
- Added explanation for the Unreformed Pagan Combat Bonus, which there's like a 60% chance you didn't even know existed until right this second.
- Clicking a region in a cultural innovation tooltip now highlights it on the map, which I guess is okay but I'm still unsure why we don't have a regions mapmode.
- You can no longer include an "OR ELSE!" clause in a vassal contract that is fair and both of you already agreed upon amicably.
- Fixed the "
has no reason to stay at court" message claiming the child is your stepbrother or sister rather than child. Although knowing you lot, it's very possible that they're both.
- Fixed the Find Concubine window in some cases showing someone who is already your concubine. Listen, he just reinstalled the app as a joke. Why are you getting so upset about this?
- The little icon that tells you how likely you are to win a battle should no longer be completely full of shit most of the time.
- Fixed the game sometimes claiming a marriage has no chance of children despite both parties being fertile. Like, yes, she is way out of your league but I think her sense of duty is at least sufficient to lay back and think of the realm.
- Victory screen for Crusades in which you didn't get any land should now tell you exactly how little your sacrifices mattered instead of simply saying it didn't.
- Fixed unpause tooltip in single-player sometimes saying "Game is Paused by U̵͈̳̠̼͉̲͙̣̎̓̍̆͋͛̋͋͘͜͡N̸̨̲͈̗̱͎͂͋̿̿͒̕͢͜ͅK̨̛̙̙̮̻̯̫̙͒͗̀͘͜͞͞Ņ̹̗̗͙̳̫̈́̽̒̔̌͒͆́̕͞ͅO̷̡̧͙̖̮͉͂̈͒̾̓̇̈̚͘͡ͅŴ̸̡̢͓̜̠̫͙̙̩̀͆̋͊͗̐̉͡Ǹ̵̛̞̟̼̑͗͊̂̏͘̚͟͜"
- Fixed you in some cases getting a "your child can marry" notification for someone you have no power to marry off, so you can call them and bug them about it repeatedly.
- Hovering over options in the dropdowns in the Barber Shop will now show the resulting change on your character model so you don't have to spend twice as much time trying on hats as you do actually playing the game.
- Made it clear in the Knight game concept that Knights represent both the character and their retinue of troops, even though everyone's head canon is going to say that they did personally cause 30 casualties because that's way more metal.
- Made sure the friends panel can be expanded if at 8 or more, even though you will never have that many friends.
- The "Pending Crusade Participation" alert now only shows up if the head of faith would actually be upset at you for not participating. You've disappointed him enough by now that he probably doesn't care.
- The game will no longer claim that your guest
's claim on a title that's already in your realm, or which has no holder,is useful
- You now get a notification in the lower-right corner when a part of your realm gets sieged by someone you're hostile to, which is information that I guess your marshal didn't think you needed to have until just now.
- South Indian/Dravidian characters no longer look like they were dunked in flour.
- Also added Slavic, East African, and Arctic visual ethnicities. Remember when we would charge actual money for this and half the time it looked like they escaped from a haunted wax museum? Rejoice that we now live in more enlightened times.
- Improved teenager animations to not be neutral and really get across the VIOLENT STORM OF PAIN AND ANGER IN THEIR SOOOOOOOULS
- Added an alternative text for holy war if one has the pluralist doctrine to explain that it's like, you know, just kind of a chill holy war, dude.
- Added description for Parliament Special Building explaining that this one structure which grants some passive modifiers meant to represent an entire sea change in the understanding of the role of a monarch is hopefully just a placeholder for adding real council mechanics back in later.
- Changed the "Consolamentum" tenet to "Ritual Suicide" for anyone but Catholics so non-Catholics don't have to go look up what the fuck that word even means.
- Children who are believed to be the reincarnation of a really shitty ancestor will no longer act super stoked about it.
- Fixed a scope mis-match in the lover reveal event which caused the event to describe people having affairs with themselves. We all do it but the entire court doesn't need to hear about it, okay?
- Re-named the 'West African' culture group to 'Guinean' to get everyone speculating about if we might add the Kongo later.
- Renamed the Wendish Empire to the Southern Baltic Empire, which is a monumentally less cool but I suppose more inclusive name.
- Updated the tooltip for Divine Marriage to clarify how it works even though we thought the memes had explained this pretty well by now.
- Added a notification toast when your liege changes to inform you who your new liege is and why they became your new liege. Which, again, you'd think someone on your council would have thought to inform you about this rather important piece of information before now.
- Broke up some of the ridiculous turbokingdoms at game start in freezing, pastoral Northern Scandinavia.
- Made the Guiyi Curcuit an independent realm in 867 to help ease the pain of waiting for the inevitable China expansion.
- Aquitaine is sexist and has been cancelled
- We made up some extra Cumans specifically to prevent bordergore so don't say we never did anything for you.
- Kashmiris no longer start with elephants because it's honestly not a great place to raise elephants.
- Socotra is now part of the Duchy of Socotra. Aswan is still not in the Duchy of Aswan for some reason but we're getting around to it.
- The Aghlabids are no longer independent in 867 because they weren't.
- Volga Bulgaria is now feudal in 1066, because all the other steppe khanates had already labelled them as lame asses by then.
- You can no longer farm Devotion by telling your court architect to start building something that costs a bunch of piety and then kicking it over and telling him to go home on the second day.
- You no longer have to change at least one thing when reforming a pagan faith to prove that you're hip and modern.
- Fix unnecessarily handling controller input and rotating/zooming the camera, which is something 90% of you didn't know you could do until just now.
- If your religion requires approval for divorce but has no religious head, guess what asshole, I'm the queen so I'm the one that gives approval. Now get out of my sight before I have to have you dragged out of it.
- Fix war participant tooltip not listing the number of knights but just repeating the word knight
- Fixed an issue where, as a prank, you would tell some rando that came along on the Crusade that they were getting the county of Jerusalem just so you could immediately laugh in their face and take it away.
- Fixed excommunication being available for faiths with Communion but non-spiritual heads. Malcolm is just up there chugging the blood of Christ and scratching his ass but there's nothing we can legally do about it.
- Listen closely. I know he's well-spoken but no matter what the prince tells you, word of his father's death and his ascension to the throne does not grant him a "Get Out of Jail Free Card," you oaf.
- The Reclaim Britannia decision no longer changes effects based on dejure drift. It's a damn island and it all belongs rightfully to the Celts.
- Children should no longer run away from home purely out of boredom.
- A faction will no longer courteously greet you before calling you a tyrant. It's called sarcasm but you spend your days torturing small animals and banging your sisters so we probably shouldn't have expected you to get it.
- It is no longer possible to farm guardianship events by repeatedly encouraging your child to engage in animal abuse. I can't believe we're actually having to patch this but I guess nothing should surprise me at this point.
- "Know Thyself" will no longer result in you getting daily texts from the reaper telling you the number of days until the Big Day and how excited he is.
- Added an alert for when you have no player heir to your titles but there's someone landed in your dynasty still alive somewhere because of a marriage you totally forgot about arranging like 200 years ago. So anyway I hope you like Siberia.
- Made it easier to kill grandma.
- Added triggers to notifications so that marshal vassals don't gain opinion of themselves when they do something good. That asshole is already full of himself enough as it is. Yeah, yeah, tell us about the Battle of Acre again. We're not tired of that story at all, you old fuck. Get back to work. I don't want to have to fight another populist rabble.
- Babies will no longer be assigned commander traits through a yearly event. I know everyone wants to brag about how smart your kid is but I'll believe he can pull off a double envelopment when he stops shitting in his pants.
- Blocked Vlach rulers from taking the Unite the Slavs and Unite the Southern Slavs decisions after realizing that our Somewhat More Arbitrary new way of doing non-linguistic culture groups has some drawbacks.
- Blocked the seduction of characters who are imbeciles or incapable. Again, not necessarily surprised we had to do this. Just disappointed.
- Rad ass hats are now mandatory in the Byzantine Empire.
- Characters who become wanderers are now less likely to just nope out of any relationships and vanish, leaving confused loved ones behind.
- The Adamites have finally made a ruling on capes: Funny but no.
- Children under 4 should no longer be lecturing their peers about theology.
- You can't force someone in your prison to educate your shitty kids. Torture them. Maim them. Anything but that.
- Children will no longer demand you hold a feast even though that seems like exactly the kind of thing your shitty, spoiled kids would do.
- Courtiers of Theocracies and Mercenaries will no longer wear inappropriate clothes. We're trying to sell this as an honest operation, Helgi. Gods dammit take that ridiculous thing off.
- Crusader Helmets will now always show up when appropriate, which is at all times.
- Devouring people will now have a clearer impact on your stress level. I still have several questions.
- Tribal MaA who are paid in exposure won't give you a discount on the amount of exposure based on traits you have that normally decrease upkeep.
- You can now tell a vassal who is mad that you're "not their rightful king" to sit down and shut up because you're the damn EMPEROR.
- Taking someone as a concubine against their will might upset their family. You know, just a little.
- No longer possible to farm divorces for personal profit. sigh
- Fixed an error which caused the event 'Differences in Faith' to trigger for counties of your own religion even though that's basically what was going on everywhere all the time.
- Fixed an inverted value that caused children with a 'bad' education affinity to do better at their education than children with a 'good' affinity even though everyone who has ever been labeled "gifted" relates to that pretty hard. (Credit for this joke goes to Rowan)
- Fixed being able to send multiple Blackmail interactions to the same character while waiting for their first response because you keep coming up with even more fucked up things to threaten them with and just can't wait to talk about it.
- Fixed broken god reference in a death transition text.
- Y̼͍͉̞̱͖͎̰͒́͂͊̃̐͛͘͞Ő̪͖͇̹̜͕͛͐̔͗̄͋̍͜͜U̷̢̟͚̤̤̯̠̤̐̓͋́̿͠ͅ Ḿ̧̟̖̥̟̀̔̓̂͑͡U̧̧̠̻̗̪̽͒͒̀͂̒̍̚͞S̢̡̭̝̗̙̠̠̥̜͋̔͋͂̾̓̋̚͘͘T̸͔̳͍̫̃̐̀̓̈̀͢͢͠͠ Ņ̶̧̢̡̘̩̫̼̫̰͂̾̌̐͆Ë͇̠͚̝́́̾͐̀͑̕͟͠V̛̫̹̦̖̱̮͂͊̉̎͒Ȩ̶̹̬̠͖̀͌́͑͠R̥͔͂̅̒̔̏̌͟͜͟͡͞ͅ R̸̮͍͈̞̓̔͊̈́͜͞E̢̳͔̖͉̔̑̀̍̀̀F̢̹̯̱̹̦͎̞̏̔͒̌͝Ě̱̳̯͙̻̦͈̇̃͡͞ͅṞ̡̮̙͍͎̮͂̊̎̽̐͞͝ͅĘ̵̧̮̮̻͕̜͎͓̼͊͆͐̽̊̂͡Ṉ̬̬͇͙̄̓͋̒̀͟͠C̴̗͍͙̯̗͚̼̿̆̔̀͑̓̓͜͝Ę̳̹͈̖̫̱̺̅̈́̒͌̎̅́̈́̕ T̛̟̱̼̻̪̻̈͑̈̈̒̇̃̿͘H̴̢̖̬̥̹̤̗̺̔͆̓̋̐̾͗̀͟E͖͍̦͙͇̔̔̎̾͆̄ B̴̨̧͍͇̐̄͐̊̔̔͌̊͜R͙͚̣̠̃͊͂̏̏͂͘̕͘͟͡ͅȎ̢̢͕̙͇̖̽̋͂̓͑͝K̡̡̧̛̞̭̮̜̦̙̤̂͋͌͋͌̎͐̚Ę̸̗̖͈̫̓̂̉̓̌͗N̨̡̛͖̭̦̺͔͔̈́̔̇̒͌̚ Ǧ̺͕̙̦́̆̅̑ͅŐ̸̹̳̪̣͍̳̙͖̓͋̆͋͌͢͜D̵̥̤̳̖̮̯̥̱̣̀̊̈́͗́̐̚͞ͅ.̯̻̺̻̗̘͔̀̿̏̽̓̐͜ T̨̡͎̫͇̦̗̻̦͂̈́͋̉̾̓̀͡͞H͈̫̩̯̳͖̑̑̉͋̋̈̚͞ͅE̜̻̹͎̫̣̒̅̋͋͂̅̐̆͐͝ B͓̭͉̟̄͌͛͆̎̚͞͝ͅR̷̫̪̝̜̳͇͂̿̂͐͂͠͝͠͡O͎̰̲͕̩̊͌͛̋͌͘͢K̢̢̢̛͚̥̙͇̝̥̂̾͋̏̀̅͢͝E̡̻͖̪̞̦̤̼͍͒̌̄̀͜͝N̸̨̗̳̜̭̱̘̯̄̎͋͊́́̈͘ Ğ̨̢̗͓̞̖͚͇̘͗̍̇̂͂͑̚ͅO͎̱͈͍̲̳͙̥͆̋̽̀̚͠͝D̷̡̥̹̖̔̄̂̕̚͜ Ĩ̢̢̱͉̞͒͑̈́̓̌̀͡Ş͕͍͙͈̲̩͓̹̊̀́̀̿́̏̕̚̕͢ É̟̜͖̭͔̍͘̕͞͝V̝͎͎̙͇̜̅̉́̈́͋̃̽͞ͅË̵̹̜͓̺̯͕̹̗́̒̃̊̕͟R̴͕̞̯͍̯̱̲̬̟̰͂́̎̌̽͘̚Y̶̧̘͇̗͊̏̈̆͌͡ͅW̷͈̠̘̪̘̆͗̒̊͐͂̈̈̚Ḩ̳̘̰͔̱̖̥̈͛̿̓͡Ȇ̡̡̗̰̭̟́̌̀͛͂̽͠R̷̢̖̭̬̦̻͇̳̓͆̌́̊͆̌͜͞Ḙ̸̢̛̺̘̠͔͚̙͐͐̒̂͋͟͡.̪̘̮̣͇͗̌͐͝͝ I̡̨͚̖͔͚̘̻̎̅́́̈́͆̇̄̐͟T̰̬̗̺̮͓̝͖͌̓͑͂̐̅͜ W̢̢̟͎͍̦̜̞͑̃̅̉̄̒͊͢I̱͈͍̩͇͚̤̎̆̾͋̽̆͛̒͠͝L̡̲̖͓͓̺͙̞̋̅͆̽̍̒L̢͎̳͙̞̠̏̊̊̀̀̉̽ Ḧ̵̪͇̖̠͔͎͍́̌̌͢͡͝E̶̮̲̝̝̦̥̎̽́̚̚͟͠A̘͈̜͓͔̪̻͖̔͋̀̀̄͝R̷̡̟̠̘̞͓̪̫͕͂̅̍̿̕̕͝͠ Y̧̘͇͖̼̻̙̞̾͌͋̍̔͋̑̈́͊͜͜͝Ò̪̩̫̥̬͖̤͓͋̅͐̓͐̕͟͝Ù̸͈̥͙͕̖̱̼̲͈̏́̌̃̽͘.̧̝̟̪͙̞̠̰̼̑͐͆̽͑
- Fixed embracing English culture sometimes converting landed spouses or family members without their consent, even though that would be pretty accurate to English history.
- Fixed lowborns getting kinslayer traits when murdering other lowborns. The proper trait for this is "Class Traitor".
- Fixed the kingdom of Pontus capital being set outside its de jure area. The capital is now set a-WAIT WHAT THE FUCK PONTUS IS IN THIS GAME??
- Guardians will no longer keep teaching your kids after fleeing the realm. We just didn't have the technology for distance learning in 867.
- Guests with claims on your vassal's vassal's titles will no longer show up at your court and then be like, "Oh... well this is awkward."
- Head of Faith looks at incest as a divorce reason based on faith's doctrines, so you can be like Henry VIII but with your own siblings. Don't pretend like you weren't already thinking it.
- Historical characters will no longer be their own parent. But we're sure you would be if we gave you that option.
- If you promise a vassal to educate their child they will now be miffed if you try to return the child after it turns out that they suck and you don't want to deal with it.
- You no longer get tyranny for putting someone in horny jail if the secret is known and adultery is criminal in your faith.
- Many achievements are now possible, up from impossible.
- It's now possible to negotiate an alliance even if your family is very inbred. So all of you can finally use the alliance mechanic now.
- Secret lovers should no longer expose themselves at a feast by trying to copulate through the bars if one of them is in prison.
- Lowborn bastards no longer try to belong to a House. They dun wan it.
- Lowered the amount of gold the recipient needs to have to unlock the Demand Payment interaction. Apparently my landlord worked on this patch.
- Married couples will no longer be exposed as if they have an affair if they're also lovers, as shocking and scandalous as it must be that a married couple in the middle ages more than tolerates each other.
- People that are terrified of you are now more likely to agree to marriage, as long as they don't have to marry you. I'm more than willing to sacrifice one daughter if you leave me alone forever. She's not even smart.
- People will no longer judge you harshly for breaking a betrothal to an Eunuch. Except, I guess, said Eunuch.
- Pilgrimages no longer come with a bunch of hidden fees they didn't tell you about when you booked it.
- If someone you really don't like recovers from illness or injury, instead of losing stress you might be like, "Ah, fuck..."
- Rebuffing the advances of a romantic interest now correctly ends their scheme instead of forcing you to become soulmates anyway. I tried that dating strategy at one point and it definitely does not work.
- Reforming to Feudalism no longer involves setting your entire seat of power and everything in it on fire.
- Rum now no longer takes dynasty names, always retaining its title name regardless of the holder's culture, so you'll never be left wondering why is the Rum gone
- Sick characters now dress the part. That gambeson is fuckin' sick bro!
- Split the Take Vows decision into two, one for "I hope you bleed out on the uncaring sands of the Levant" and one for "I just want you to go lock yourself in a room with some manuscripts and never talk to me again."
- Spread Assyrian culture a little. ASHUBANIPAL IS PLEASED.
- Svend II of Denmark now spawns as either bisexual or heterosexual, and either way I'm into it.
- The Mongol Empire will no longer destroy itself when winning a war, as happened historically.
- The Pope can no longer publicly accept cannibalism.
- The elope scheme will now run smoother than it did for those two Italian kids.
- The game will no longer tell you to take more concubines when you've had enough, which makes it more polite than most dating apps.
- Two players having a child together will no longer have a screaming competition about the name. At least, not in-game.
- If a vassal refuses a title revocation, you can't pretend it was just a joke and avoid the tyranny hit.
- Unlanded characters will no longer be able to drag prisoners around in a big cage on wheels.
- The stupid little widget will no longer constantly remind you that you can declare war when you're in debt and literally can't.
- You can no longer tell a pregnant admirer to get her prenatal ass out there and kill a wild animal for you. Unless that's acceptable in your culture.
- Women in equal or female-dominated realms with concubinage will get the same penalties as men for not meeting their Himbo Quota.
- You can no longer attempt to find dead people's secrets even though I think that's the plot of at least half of all thriller novels.
- You can no longer lose a friend you didn't have. So if you're reading this: look on the bright side!
- You can no longer owe a favor to yourself because of a necklace. I think that was also the plot of a movie though.
- You can't just constantly fire your child's tutors, Karen.
- You don't have to break up with your concubines before asking them to marry you. It would still be pretty funny though.
- If your spouse leaves the realm because you're an asshole, you get to keep the kids because you have castles and armies and they don't so suck it.
- If your spouse really sucks you will not be sad when they die.
- You will no longer think less or more of yourself depending on how good you are at romancing someone else, which is highly unrealistic.
- You will now be told why you can't debate people 24/7: Because it's fucking annoying. Log off. Go outside. Have a real life.
- You will now only be notified of the establishment of Norman culture if you're in Europe. The Maharaja of Bengal doesn't know or care what you're talking about.
- You'll no longer get events in third person about how virtuous you are. You'll have to keep doing that in the mirror every morning before you load your save.
- You can no longer Promote Christian Settlements in Hungary if Hungary has been Christianized for over 100 years.
- Made Aethelred I significantly more unlucky whilst Alfred is alive and heir so maybe the English at least have a fucking chance.
- Spouses can no longer be both happy and unhappy with their spouse even though that pretty accurately describes every marriage ever.
- A beacon of the faith who is discovered to have a bastard child will only lose one level of devotion instead of being immediately yeeted directly into the deepest circle of hell with no appeal.
- Having concubines no longer protects you from becoming a concubine. I think this means you can have polycules now but I'd have to test it out.
- Seduction compliments now only has two outcomes, good or bad, as is true historically.