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[ORGs] That time someone slid into a baby dragon's DMs

It's time once again to take a look back into the nightmare hellscape that is the ORG roleplay community. If you don't know what that is, you can look through this older writeup to get the gist but basically; it's a type of online roleplay that takes place on message boards in which a group of people compete in challenges based around reality tv shows such as Survivor, wherein players get eliminated on a round-by-round basis, until the end where the last player standing is crowned winner. As one can imagine, this can create a very competitive atmosphere, and sometimes things can get heated. Other times things can get… well. you read the title of the post.
Anyway, this particular story revolves around another figure I've written about in the past, Dustin who- again, if you don't have the time to read another whole writeup- is an incredibly controversial member of the community for a quantity of reasons, least of all the fact that he's an out and proud furry (like. REALLY proud, you guys) and that he's been known to catch a really bad attitude whenever he doesn't get his way. Both of these things will come into play in this writeup.
While that first post up there recapped an event that happened in one of the earliest points in Dustin's time in the community, this is recanting one of the very last which occurred years later. In between then there'd been a lot of other controversies and one could write a novel's length writeup about them all, but I'm not the one to be able to because I honestly just don't have the strength yall. But I will give you all a few highlights of what Dustin's ORG career had been like leading up to this point;
His first ORG was him playing as Artemis, his now-notorious Survivor Fan Characters cat girl who he managed to make it all the way to the end with. They did not win the jury vote, but then stated that they actually DID win, and convinced himself that he did. A few years later he would do the same thing after making it to the finals of a forty person game after calling everybody in the Jury evil garbage (including me!) and then only receiving a single vote to win from a group of like eighteen people. He got banned a little while afterward and faked suicide, while also getting one of his friends to write a dA journal entry calling everyone in the community evil bullies in order to guilt trip us. He was unbanned on probation even after this, and proceeded to host his own ORG in which he openly rigged for the people he liked and complained about how much he hated half the cast. He got invited into a Skype groupchat and made everybody in it have to look at his avatar of Sunil from Littlest Pet Shot farting.
And then that brings us here, the last ORG he ever played, to my knowledge. Why people were still bringing him on to play even after all of that I have no clue, but they were. This game was a fairly simple Survivor format. Dustin played as Lilith Calah, another catgirl character from the furry webcomic Dreamkeepers. Some other key characters involved in this include:
Spike, the baby dragon boy from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark, the lead characters from the Hunger Games franchise whose players both signed on as these characters totally by chance.
Shawn Mendes, Canadian pop sensation, rat handler.
Nicole Scherzinger, formerly known as the only Pussycat Doll who can actually sing, now known for her constantly being a judge on singing based reality tv shows.
I was also in the game, though I didn't have a lot of personal interaction with them, and had only interacted with them for one round before life got me down and I kind of peaced out (though I was also playing as Esther Greenwood from The Bell Jar for this game so if anyone asks I just say I was being in character), so a lot of this is second hand.
Even in the very beginning of the game, Lilith lets the hosts know just what they'll get from her, as the very first thing she posts in her personal forum is this;
Hello there, dear hosts! I see this is my confessional, correct? The place where I might be able to be myself freely without judgment or ridicule of my fellow competitive peers? Not only that, but it's where I can vent my closest secrets, concerns, and objectives? Wonderful! Now, there's just one thing I wish to request...
I wish to do all my confessionals naked. You see, in a game such as this, there is sure to be a lot of stressful moments that is sure to cause even the most rational, gentlest of souls to potentially lose their tempers and say or do things they do not mean. This is incredibly unfortunate, and something I don't wish to happen with myself whatsoever. So, when in a confessional, I wish to strip myself free of any and all garments covering my body and allowing myself to be nude as I open my mind to you all.
This is not anything sexual or perverse, I assure you. It is just my way of relieving stress and being happy within the bounds of this universe and game. I do hope this is alright and you do not mind. I promise to only keep this in the confessionals; it won't be seen or done in public or around anyone else, I assure you. But, even in my naked form, there is nothing that can be seen at the moment that should be considered 'sexual' in nature, correct? Nudity is not something to be horrified or embarrassed with, but something that should let you see someone's heart and look past their outer skin. This is just my way. I hope it is acceptable.
The hosts IMMEDIATELY have to tell her not to post any pictures of this, and she obliges. Things actually go fairly well in the beginning as she hits it off well with her teammates, including some of those mentioned above, although the one she really wants to get to know is Spike, and when she finally meets him after a team swap, she lets it be known;
Please excuse me for screaming, but...oh, I'm so HAPPY to be with him for a little bit! I...I really don't know what it is, but...Spike is just so...um, attractive to me? He acts so cool and calm, and never lets anything bother him. He's cute...but also a little sexy, for being a dragon without having to be big and mean and scary. I just...I really like him.
Let it be reiterated that Spike is canonically a literal child, and Dustin at this point is a grown man playing as a grown woman. It should also be noted that Spike's player has also become a bit checked out by this point, and only moderately active. Most other players are starting to want him gone, but Lilith is determined to keep her love affair alive, and as by this time she's in a good position with Shawn, KatPee, and Nicole, she's able use that influence to get some of the other outsiders cut instead. Meanwhile, she tells Katniss in personal messages that she wants to start going on double dates with her and Peeta and herself and Spike, and Katniss lets it be known to the hosta that she finds this fucking weird.
Then, things escalate once the merge hits. The target on Spike grows wider as he becomes even less active, but Lilith is still unable to let go of her child lover, and still champions him at any given moment. As time wore on, Lilith loses her good will with everyone else as she gets increasingly desperate to save this basically inactive player. Katniss in particular fucking hates her at this point, and is actively trying to get her eliminated during a double elimination along with Spike, but instead with the help of Shawn and Peeta she survives over one of Katniss's closest allies, while Spike gets the boot.
Throughout this whole process, Lilith begins to unravel in confessional:
So, you all wanna pull that? I'm quitting this game if Trump and Spike leave. Not even joking. I'm sick and tired of being in a game where I lose EVERY. SINGLE. CHALLENGE. Where I fight with every last bit of my being, only to lose to cheaters, and they get rewarded for it. AND if my two best allies leave over Connie and Nicole, then it proves that Shawn is an idiot and I've been exposed. So, I'm not sticking around to be voted out; not again. I'm not going to let this keep happening to me. It's not worth it. For what? All this aggravation for just a silly ORG win. Why am I trying so hard? Sometimes I really do wonder why I am
sobbing This is a NIGHTMARE! No pun intended. Shawn snapped at me and told me to stop treating him like a child, which is similar to what Trump said to me earlier. Honestly, I'm getting sick of this. I wouldn't have to treat you all like children if you'd just listen to me and stop being stupid! I literally explained in 6 or 7 paragraphs why keeping Trump and Spike is the right move and how it benefits us, and all Shawn does is say: "Stop treating me like a child. I don't want to keep Spike and Trump." And that's pretty much it. He refuses to see my points and just wants to push an agenda on me. If he's my partner, he sure doesn't treat me like it anymore. He expects me to just follow him and come in 3rd for doing absolutely nothing? Well, screw you, Shawn. You can kiss my lovely feline ass
just sits there, sobbing and crying Those monsters...voted out my Spikey. The amount of harshness that Peeta and Shawn displayed about him...the things they said...they're both terrible people. And...Trump may've survived and that rotten Connie left, but...Trump flipped his vote. I think. He voted for Spike and Connie, just to save himself. I just...I have no respect for anybody left. ANYBODY. I hate them all. I hate every single one of these two-faced, lying, hateful monsters. They are each a living embodiment of a nightmare. I hate them so much.
I really, really, really, REALLY want to just quit the game and follow my dear Spikey out, as I promised I would. But...I can't bring myself to say those words. I can't bring myself to tell the hosts that I quit. I just can't. I'm all word. I can't quit a game like this. Spike would be disappointed in me, too. I just...I can't do it. I don't want to be here; the puzzle is just going to be rigged for Shawn or Peeta again anyway, so I'm not going to win it. I...I have nothing left. Nothing. I guess I'm only staying here to prove to Spike that I never did quit. I never quit for him, and I can't quit for myself. Even if I'm surrounded by despicable people, I need to be the hero of my own story and not let the darkness take me.
And she continues to rail on Shawn and Peeta in spite of them actively being the reason she was still in the competition.
The following round, she essentially disappeared for the whole day as everybody else dealt with the aftermath. Things seemed like they'd only get more heated but an act of divine intervention occurred, as in the next elimination there was a tie in the voting, leading to to next elimination being decided at random, and falling on her to the relief of basically everybody left.
She remains dormant for almost the rest of the game, until the finale voting where the finalists consisted of Peeta, Shawn, and Nicole. There, all of the people voting on the winner get a private forum where they can ask finalists questions to help get to know their game better and decide who to vote for. Lilith instead uses her's to spew vitriol at the finalists, cussing them all out for robbing her of her baby lover, before saying the biggest ORG faux pas one can make; that she was going to vote at random.
And that she did, though not before making yet another huge vitriolic post in her private forum calling herself the true winner of the game.
In the end she votes for Nicole over either of the two guys who were ostensibly her closest allies, meaning that she would win over Shawn by a vote of 5-4. They're both fucking pissed about it, and even Nicole feels weird about it as well. Though when confronted about it after the game was over, Dustin would backtrack his statements to say that actually, he was ALWAYS planning on voting for Nicole and just said he was voting on random for the sake of ~~~drama. It does not help him.
Things don't really get much better for him after everything is all said and done either, unfortunately. A little while later, he was banned for good after he harassed one of our website's moderators through Discord messages to that they got so shaken by it that they quit being a mod entirely. Now he spends most of his time ranting about Survivor seasons on deviantArt and writing Total Drama vore fanfiction, while the rest of us live on with his reign of terror and upsetting fetish avatars ingrained deeply into our psyches.
submitted by ItsTimeLadies to HobbyDrama

The first person I ever loved was a pedophile.

In case the title didn't give it away, this story is not a happy one. Trigger warnings apply for child abuse and suicide. Main account because fuck it.
I was fourteen years old, and I had no self esteem. I was a damaged girl with a speech impediment, undiagnosed depression, and puberty hit me like a truck. I smelled, didn't know how to shave, and kept my head buried in books. My only friends were a selective mute and a crazy, spoiled drama queen of a girl who was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. My brother was a popular, athletic genius who followed in the footsteps of my workaholic Asian engineer dad. My mother was distant, too wrapped up in her own mother's narcissism and cruelty to notice her own.
I was alone, and I hated myself. Absolutely hated myself. I was becoming suicidal. I had imaginary friends that I talked to all the time, because I was the only person I could open up to.
So, when I wound up on a chat room, I was easy prey.
His name was Adam. He was thirty six, with red hair and a beard. He was overweight, and lived with his overbearing mother. And he was the first person to ever call me beautiful.
He was the first person I ever loved. First person I ever spoke to every day that I could. First person that I ever believed truly loved me. We made plans to spend our lives together. Figured out the cost of airfare (Ontario to Texas). We were going to open a used bookstore together. He made me feel safe, wanted, valuable... Precious. Like I was enough. Like all my mistakes and weaknesses, all my shames and failures, didn't matter. I was enough.
And he groomed me into a sex slave. I remember taking videos for him. The first time I flashed him my pussy on cam, still unshaved and as yet untouched. Photo shoots over skype where he would use screen capture and told me what poses to use. I remember him teaching me terms like cream pie, edging, and popping a cherry. He wanted to take my virginity.
I remember realizing he was a pedophile, and instead of being horrified, I had him reassure me he wouldn't leave me for someone younger when I grew out of his preferred age range.
God, I was so twisted back then.... I regret not reporting him now, but you'll see why it doesn't matter.
I wound up finding a boyfriend around this time period, too. A real, in person one. He was nineteen, and his name was Ted. Adam wasn't happy, but he couldn't stop me. I was craving the real thing, already a sex addict from the moment I first kissed Ted. So, I reassured Adam that he was my one, my only, my future husband.
I lost my virginity to Ted not long after my fifteenth birthday. Sucked, honestly. He also groomed me, got me to be very kinky and slutty. He was your typical neck beard type. I became his whore.
Adam and I started growing apart. I was finding friends, learning how to shave and which deodorants worked for me, how to dress less like a trash heap.
I broke up with Adam for the first time maybe a month into me dating Ted. Went back within the week. A cycle started. I couldn't stay away from Adam, because I was so reliant on him to keep myself some semblance of sane and confident, but I was starting to finally realize he wasn't good for me. That he had hurt me.
Adam started losing it. I was losing it, too. For everything that Adam had done wrong, he was the first person I ever traded I love you's with. The first person that made me feel like I was worth loving. I knew it was wrong, and that I was already showing signs of only being able to feel loved and valued through my sexual appeal, but I couldn't leave him. I was dependent on him.
The cycle continued for maybe two months before I ended it for what wound up being the last time.
I didn't realize it would be the last time.
It took me two weeks to unblock him.
And five minutes to realize what was wrong.
None of his accounts had been active since the day after we broke up. March 8th, 2012.
I knew his name, where he lived.
I googled.
Adam had committed suicide the day after I left him.
AFTERMATH
It has been eight years. Ted and I broke up maybe three months after Adam's death, and we haven't really spoken much since.
I still see his smile in my sleep sometimes. I hear his voice occasionally. He haunts me.
I blamed myself for so long. I couldn't talk about it for months. My parents still don't know what happened, or why I had a mental breakdown. Only a few people know how the story of Adam ended. I can talk about the grooming part somewhat easily, but I can't talk about the fact that I killed him. At least, I thought I killed him for a good five years.
I got into a lot of abusive relationships. Spent a lot of time showing off my body on cam. I crave sex, because for a long time, it was the only way I could feel loved. It was the only thing that made the guilt shut up.
I have always had a thing for older men. Always wondered if I'd be into older men if this hadn't happened, or if I'd be as sexual/kinky as I am now. The older guys thing I guess I can understand. I grew up really fast when Adam happened.
In fact, I'm currently in a relationship with a 36 yr old man. We started dating when I was nineteen, and I'm twenty two now. My longest ever relationship. He's really good to me, and because of him, I finally got the courage to get diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and ADHD. I had issues with PTSD for a while, but a lot of it has dissipated. My life is getting a lot better.
I can't say I'm emotionally well now, but I am better. I still blame myself, at least a bit, for Adam's death. I know it was his choice, that I was just a kid in a nightmare of a situation, that I bear absolutely no fault for it. That I didn't kill him.
But, like Lady Macbeth, there's a spot of blood on my hands that won't go away.
I have gone to therapy, but I don't bring it up often. It's hard to. I talk about it with people I trust sometimes, and refer to it as my origin story. I joke it's why I'm so super. And, in a way, I am. I'm a very kind, open, and understanding person. I do my best to help people, no matter what.
I guess something good did come out of it.
It made me kind.
AFTERWORD
Thank you for reading. I was reminded of this by another post on here, and this felt really cathartic to write about. I'm fine to talk about it, but please be supportive in your comments. Thank you.
submitted by Balsamwood to TrueOffMyChest

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